Sometimes I wonder how it is, that my identity got away from me…It had been implanted in me from tender ages. But the process is so painfully slow that you just wake up one day and wonder, Who AM I? How did I get here? Why am I here? Then, once you realize you’ve become an entirely different person than who you once were before, you have this scary thought, “Will I ever be able to get back to the person I was before?” Of this, I am not sure…I just recently heard (very randomly) a narrator from the movie “My Dysfunctional Friends” say:
“…The past is called ‘the past’ for a reason. I accepted that I needed to live in the present and look forward to the future. Why should you try to relive a moment in your life you’ve already experienced, go places you’ve already been? Life is about discovery. I’ve accepted that everybody moves on and I realized that that’s not such a bad thing.”
This saying in mind, and in application to one individual, I think that I need to look at things this way instead of trying to hold on to yesteryear when life wasn’t as complicated as it is now. While situations change and people change, will you remain the same you? No. As these changes happen, you must choose to grow positively, into a better person, or life will make the choice for you and a lot of negative things can happen if you allow them to. And it won’t just affect the people or situations around you, but it will affect who you are inside too. This is what happened to me. So although I am not in the best position right now, spiritually, physically, mentally, financially, academically or professionally, I commit myself to becoming the best person that I can be in the midst of everything going on in my life. And ultimately, I’m determined to rise in all aspects of my life. So as I go on this journey of recapturing, hybridizing , and solidifying my identity, I invite you to the Ellamatrix experience with me.
Although I intend to grow as this blog develops, this blog will not be about me, it will be about all of you, my readers, all of US. I’m hoping to attract an audience that is looking for a sort of guide to young adulthood and also those who can offer any wonderful advice. I hope that this blog will make the transition from teen to young adult and adulthood as smoothly as possible. As a teen, young adulthood took me entirely by surprise. There was no sort of guide to it and no one told me how hard it would be. Of course I figured paying bills and rent, etc. would suck, but I figured things would always work out. I had no idea how complicated things can get as an adult. So I decided there should be some sort of “unofficial guide” on the internet that everyone should be able to have access to and for free. Hope it helps you as much as it helps me to write it all out.